Oh love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee. I love this song so much. I became a Christian ten years ago. I’m not sure how or why, but ten years later I'm still standing here and I'm praising Jesus as my Saviour, as my King, as my friend and as my life. It's a complete miracle really, and it's only because of the grace of daily reminders; Jesus loves me, He gave His life for me and He rose again to be with me.
I want to say really openly that there have been moments where I have literally fallen on my knees and cried out to God to take away my faith. [My faith has] sometimes felt like being refined in a burning fire, yet here I am and He won't let me go. I wanted to share that with you because despite moments of desperate sadness and grief, the day I chose to trust Jesus is the moment my soul finally realised it was satiated, it was the first time I found that I was finally worshipping what I had been created to worship.
I think I've always believed in some sort of god, may be either a sentimental spirit of love or a god that is so holy and untouchable imperfection that it's giving me like an overwhelming burden and that I have to have a sense of feeling that I always need to put more and more effort into achieving my own significance and security. But instead I've come to know this unimaginable joy of worshiping God of holy love.
Why am I getting baptised? Why am I sharing it with you? This baptism really isn't what makes me a Christian, it's more like a moment [when you are] hiking up a mountain for hours on end and it's pitch black and I'm cold, it is really really horrendous… and then you reach the summit, and there’s a sunrise, and it’s so beautiful and it's stunning. Then you look around you and you realise you're all alone and I think it's that moment then that you realise you have to share it. It's a beauty that's made complete when you look around you see someone enjoying the beauty with you.
I've come to know this God that is both intimidatingly great, but also so tender and so intimate and that is just something I have to share.
I want to finish in a prayer:
Thank you Father that you do not love me because I am lovable, but it is in my darkest and most unlovable moments that you have picked me off the floor and carried me. Thank you that you will not let me go father please help me, Maryke and Kesha live each day with a fresh passion for you, trusting in you for our daily bread that your promise is not in vain. Amen.